cupid's playlist

love is mysterious, odd, beautiful, disappointing, gratifying, new, old, and passionate all at the same time. it rules us, contains us, conquers us until we've become entirely different people. ancient civilizations found love just as wild as we do, yet they devoted their time to blaming most relationships on gods who they believed hooked everyone up for their own reasons. which makes the hopeless romantic in me ponder the questions: if cupid had an ipod, what would he be listening to while he shot his arrow at his helpless victims in the name of everyone's favorite four-letter word? what would aphrodite be rocking out to as she caused mayhem amongst the greeks? here's a list of my ideal love mix, an ode to the happy, dizzy, maddening feeling we get after being struck by arrows, after being bitten. of course, love may never last, but does that even matter? just eat chocolates, sip wine, and listen.

breather - chapterhouse



a feedback-driven letter of past romances, impossible futures, and a world constantly on the edge of something. the narrator nearly begs "please me, make me happy," displaying one of the most solid expressions of desperation in a rock song, stripping away bravado and enhancing the insecurities. ultimately it becomes a symphony of noise, harmonies, and lush orchestration.

the first taste - fiona apple



sleek, smooth, and filled with utter sensuality, this jazzy incantation of seduction borders on sweetened absurdity through its massive circus production of instruments. it envelopes you with the siren's first note of "lying in an early bed," and then completely enraptures you as she breaks into the chorus, asking her lover to "let it begin" because "heaven cannot wait forever." it is a darling, monstrous message of cat-and-mouse, eventually going off into its own atmosphere and never coming up for air.

come in alone - my bloody valentine



a song that is so sexy it doesn't even know it is. immediately the roll of the guitars and drums, first sounding like a mess, but settling smoothly into a jam of vibrancy. the distortion of the singer's voice adds to the strange, warped feeling of meeting up with a lover in a vacant room and tripping the night away. it is cold as it is warm, distant as it is near, and quiet as it is loud, generating a contradictory motion that sends goosebumps up your arm and adrenaline to your heart.

lovesick teenagers - bear in heaven



a testament to youth and the fall of it all. "lovesick teenagers/don't ever die/they will live forever" is one of the most beautiful, saddest lyrics to ever be written, reminding us continuously of how fleeting life is and how we miss it and yearn for it and pray for it to come back the way we desired it. at the same time, it is a celebration of spirit and adolescence, mimicking the rockiness of late-night car rides and drunken dance parties.

wish fulfillment - sonic youth



"your life and my life/they don't touch at all/that's no way to be" says lee renaldo, either remembering someone or wanting to be with someone and bobbing through a confessional frenzy of explosive guitars, harsh drums, and wallowing echoes. the imagery is of rock shows, the feeling of heedless moodiness, and the lovely notion that anything, yes, anything is possible. there is a hint of betrayal in the line "i'm still on your side/in spite of everything you do" but proudly ends it with sincerity by saying "come wish beside me," declaring forgiveness as if it had just been created.

jewel - cranes



under the mellowed bumps of medieval pop instrumentation comes an angelic voice that, through almost hiccupy breaths, describes wanting to keep a moment like a precious jewel because it means "that much to me." it is all nostalgic and child-like at first, but then it builds up to a ravenous, buzzing ending that almost drowns out the whispering scats like a wave of a waterfall. intensely short but just as intensely striking upon each listen.

waiting - madonna



this is not a song about love on any well-intended order. we are, instead, given access into the bass-driven psychological ramblings of a woman on the verge of collapse, trying to put the pieces together of why her lover left her. the piano strums like a guitar, horns hums in the background with the sinister quality of gangsta-rap, and the marrakech-influenced spoken word all creates a portrait of scorned love that turns into affirmation. by the end, when the piano has fully taken control, madonna aptly goes "the next time you want pussy/just look in the mirror, baby" as she has gained control of her experience and her independence.

beautiful mind - the verve



the only word one can use to fully describe this song is "luxurious." it is muslin, it is satin, it is silk, wrapping itself around the body and creating a blanket of comfort and safety, and then soon surging you into the atmosphere of space, time, and all in between. one imagines an astronaut remembering something on earth. or the most sincere night in a bedroom. the singer is always on the verge, it seems, of orgasmic fury. the sexiest song i've ever heard.

so young - suede



not quite the cover of the 50's tearjerker by the teenagers but entirely gorgeous re-imagining of impatient children wanting to take over the world but being too fucked-up to do a thing about it. "let's chase the dragon, oh" is a rally call to a rushed generation choosing to satisfy their romance through substance, an entirely modern sensibility if any on this list. like a parade of cigarette-smoking baton throwers.

modern romance - yeah yeah yeahs



"there is no modern romance," karen o. tells us but she knows there is, she is just sad and probably broken up. this is one of those songs you sing to yourself when you are alone and wanting something, but you tell yourself these things so that it makes it all better. at its core, however, it is the loveliest belief of romance, of ideas, and of nature, connecting us to the center and most base of our emotions and letting us know, "well i was wrong." because we are wrong, even when we're right. even when we're in love. even when we're not.